Our life is constant communication.

Even though the following advice is concerned with the outside, it represents your inner state – how you feel about yourself. That’s what we’re going for here. You communicate that you respect yourself AND me by showing up as the best presented version of yourself. 

Style & color schemes

If you’re new to understanding dress sense or don’t want to keep up with the latest trends, investing in classic, timeless style pieces will be just fine. 

Black, white, navy, dark green and gray are classic colors that can be mixed together or used as a base for experimenting with vibrant and daring ones (such as pink, burgundy, camel, red, brown etc). The rule of thumb here, is to go with more neutral and solid colors. It communicates elegance, power, authority which psychologically indicates that you can (if needed) be in charge (and that is HOT). 

One other thing to keep in mind in terms of color is your complexion. If you’re blond or light-toned, stay away from dark colors near your face – the contrast might be too harsh. And for the redheads out there – warm colors suit best. 

In terms of clothing, I recommend having a small number of jeans, chinos, and shorts. Several solid colour t-shirts and polos, dress shirts. It is far better to keep the number of items low but go high end. This is because fewer items means you will be able to keep your image pretty consistent and project a higher value image. You do not want to be in possession of 20 cheap coats, better to have 2 coats that project excellence. Good well made clothing has a much longer lifespan so the difference in the cost of going upmarket is actually not a lot.     

A well designed coat and jacket can turn heads. When you get it right girls will comment on your clothing. For shoes, two pairs each of good quality dress shoes and sneakers.You can invest in a suit later if your job does not require one for now. Believe me though – a man in a suit is one of the hottest looks for us ladies. Nothing screams confidence and power more, as a well-fitted, bespoke suit.

A white basic t-shirt is a must have for a casual classic look. Think of this as the James Dean look. They can go with almost anything – jeans, chinos, shorts and look good underneath jackets (leather or denim is sexy) or open shirts. I appreciate that you might like wearing Iron Maiden, Metallica or any other identity-affirming clothing, but please don’t! It looks like you’re still a teenager in search of his identity (NOT hot, more on finding identity in the EQ post). If you must wear it somewhere, wear it at the gym or while fixing your car. I strongly advise against wearing logoed up Tees in public.

Clean & tidy clothes

I would also like to emphasize that your clothes and underwear should always be washed and clean, be stain and hole-free. Holes and stains, even small ones, will be observed and communicate that you are penny pinching. I would think: this guy probably struggles to pay his rent. Unwashed clothing is a strong indicator of personal hygiene competency, which honestly speaking if you get this wrong it is a deal breaker for 99% of women. I would be thinking, if your clothes are dirty, you lack self-respect and probably have never had a girlfriend before. Not to mention, that excess oil and bacteria from unwashed clothes gets reabsorbed back into your skin and might cause acne and other skin infections. As my mother always said, you don’t have to have to spend a fortune on clothes but they must always be clean and presentable.

If your clothes are worn-out and unsuitable for public display, this does not mean you can wear it at home. It means you should take it to charity (if it’s still wearable) or recycle them. How you treat yourself is about your mindset. What you look like when no one’s looking is extremely important. For your own self-worth and self-esteem, you deserve good stuff! It is a common problem for men, and women for that matter, to only bother to dress well on a night out. The problem is you are presenting a false image of yourself. So even if you do attract a girl, your true level will be found out and the girl will lose attraction. 

When at home, still wear good clothes in front of your lady and yourself. As a girl, I  like to think you care about how I perceive you and that you put the effort in for ME. 

Overall, your looks communicate to me about how you feel and how you want to show up in the world. Clean, tidy and minimalistic look demonstrates self-respect, so I recommend investing in high quality accessories and clothing. It is better to have fewer high quality pieces than lots of cheap ones. Remember, we are going for quality over quantity here, you want to come across as a self-respectful and confident man.

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